Hallo zusammen.
Ich habe mit meiner besten Freundin 3,5 Jahre Telegram-Nachrichten analysiert und genau gesehen, wie und warum wir im Grunde getrennte Wege gegangen sind. Einige Anmerkungen:
- G und S sind wir. M und N sind in dieser Zeit unsere Partner.
- Selbst als wir in der Nähe wohnten, schrieben wir viel Text, aber nachdem ich in ein anderes Land gezogen war, war das im Grunde unsere einzige Möglichkeit, in Kontakt zu bleiben, abgesehen von dem seltenen Anlass eines CSGO-Spiels.
- Farbige Linien stellen einen gleitenden 30-Tage-Durchschnitt dar. Graue Balken sind die Rohzahlen.
- Ich weiß nicht, warum ich das gemacht habe. Ich glaube, ich wollte sehen, wie gut unsere großen Lebensereignisse mit unserer Kommunikationsfrequenz übereinstimmen.
- Das ist nicht unbedingt traurig! Wir haben beide andere Menschen in unserem Leben, mit denen wir enger zusammengewachsen sind, und das ist nur natürlich, als wir in unsere Zwanziger kamen, aber gerade unsere Beziehung driftet auseinander, hauptsächlich aufgrund der Distanz und der sich ändernden Interessen. Wir haben definitiv nicht vor, unsere enge Freundschaft aufzugeben.
- Die Daten wurden über den integrierten Telegram-Exporter exportiert, die Grafik wurde mit Python+Matplotlib erstellt. Für Interessierte kann ich das Notebook aufräumen und auf Github veröffentlichen.
Von kirisoraa
24 Kommentare
Data source: Telegram (local built-in export into JSON)
Visualization tools: matplotlib
Am I understanding the plot correctly that you both still send ~20 messages a day to each other? I wouldn’t consider that going your „separate ways“. Although there is a clear trend down towards communicating less.
350 messages a day is insane. 20-30 is still a lot and I would be annoyed with someone who was texting me that much.
Falling out seems harsh, is it always you who initiates conversations?
This is well presented and interesting
This is a trend that’s all too common as we get older and life changes
Are you able to add another view with „words per text“
I’m assuming each text is about 5-10 words and often sent in bundles?
This isn’t drifting apart, this is growing up. You have new interests, new social circles and other people just become more important to you at certain periods.
I’m a lot older than you but I might not see or talk to some of my best friends for months and I always know that they are there for me. You’re still exchanging 20 texts per day. This is ok.
Damn dow to 40 messages a day back and forth? Just end it that relationship is played out
What friends message 400 times a day.
I text my best friend a few times a year
Your „falling out“ daily texts are higher than my monthly texts for all contacts combined. This would drive me insane.
This reads like you mourning the loss of your married friend, the four markers feel very telling.
I don’t suppose you think they’re the one that got away, by any chance?
I feel like most comments on here are confusing texts for IM „chats“
When you’re having an IM style exchange, it’s no different to having a conversation in person
It’s very easy to have 100 messages (maybe 1000 words) in an hour just like you might speak that much when you’re seeing someone
Also how old is everyone here lol
IM (ICQ, MSN, Whatsapp) has been around for decades. In high school and college this was normal for me with at least 5 friends
Brother this isn’t falling out with your childhood friend. This is just getting old and moving on. You are still friends, just older and busier.
You seem to have a different standard for level of communication than I do haha. Maybe it’s just my age. My bestie and I communicate rarely then it’s like a super download every few months. But we are the type that likes phone and in person communication.
Life gets busier and you get more tired as you age. As friends and/or yourself get jobs, partners, families, etc. it gets harder to retain regular communication.
The adjustment to the new normal is tough though. It can feel isolating and disconnected. But it’s just part of many people’s growing up. You’re probably not outgrowing each other, just growing into other new things and places. That’s all ok! Just so long as you can still make time and chat every so often. Priorities evolve as people grow.
Unfortunately, you are using a 30 day moving average filter. This results in each data point being statistically correlated with adjacent points. This is bad practice for data visualization in scientific applications. Just show the raw data and overlay trends if you’d like. Or, average each months‘ value, and plot that. That way, you reduce the error bar size while also maintaining the visual meaning of each data point being statistically independent from other data points.
Is this how you find out you’re gay?
There isn’t a human on earth I would want to message this much.
Children! This is called life, and it’s not a falling out. It can become a falling out, if you frame it in your mind that way. Then it becomes a self fullfilling prophecy.
It’s important to realise that contact with true friends, ebbs and flows over the years. Even with periods of no contact for a while, as your (and their) priorities shift. My two best friends from high school, may only call 6 times a year, but those times are meaningful and heartfelt. After 50 years, it’s the knowledge that they are still there, that is important.
Sometimes I don’t talk to my friends for 6 months
I’ve never sent 200 text messages a day to anyone.
It is understandable that after marriage you need to give the other one their space, especially if it is the opposite gender.
Still 20 is a lot lol. My best day with my best friends are probably around that
A falling out usually means a big argument.
I’m curious if you have the same texting style. Do you send a lot of one sentence long messages? Do they message in paragraphs?
Quality not quantity dude.