Was würde der TÜV sagen?

Nein

TÜV would say nothing to this specific picture, because TÜV is a „service center“ where you go to and not some neighbourhood watch service 🙂 Police would take you out of traffic if they have a normal day. If they have a good day and believe you that you were „just transferring the car to the service station“ to repair it you would end up with a warning and depending on their workload with a police car on your back until you are at the repair shop.

Then when you actually go to the TÜV they won’t certify you because you don’t have „rear protection“. But you wouldn’t go to the TÜV in this state.

Those blueish lines all over the place look like someone already estimated what has to be repaired.

Is this on a weird first in first out parking lot? Because that car in front looks like it’s missing parts too.