Nur falsche Untertitel

Man mad for work

“Any pills ?”

“This is not a tracksuit”

Think you’re having a bad day?

Imagine working security at Wilsons

Did ya get laid in the joy?

Grand stretch in the evenings

The general advice is to spread approximately one third of the grazing platform with slurry in early spring and to spread the other two-thirds with nitrogen fertiliser in early February.

„I’ve no willy“

https://preview.redd.it/qmccw9oe5qdg1.jpeg?width=1069&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60adcce4b2c9020ada324e8add0ed910babcad69

Ahh finally, peace and quiet returns.

“This is a piece of advice my father gave to me, now this refers not only to lagging but all forms of insulation, he said „don’t ever“ no wait, it was „always“ no no it was „never ever“ oh wait I’ve forgotten, what’s your favourite humming noise?”

„We run the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas and we save two hundred Euro a year, but then a few weeks later ah God, I’ll never forget it now, we got a new boiler…“

Enoch Burke stops security man from leaving for the day..

Ach Enoch, we’ve been over this.

You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

„Is your mammy late picking you up again young lad“

Enema at the gates.

The most awkward Grindr hookup

(Satirical Comment – This is a joke and didn’t actually happen)

„White man not told it is no longer 1950 anymore“

A white straight man in his mid 40s has not been told that his views on women, race and gender have been considered outdated for 75 years now. The man in question one „~~Eunuch~~ Enoch* Burke“ was found desperately trying to bring in a switch (an old term used to describe a wooden stick, not the Nintendo gaming tool), along with other memorabilia such as chalk, a book on latin hymns and contact information for the local convent, which was closed down 35 years ago due to a national scandal.

When questioned as to what business he had attending the school ~~Eu~~ Enoch Burke stated quote „There be a few students there need a quare battering from the sally rod doing all these damndable genders and writing like a ciotóg!“

When it was pointed out to Mr Burke that corporal punishment had been outlawed in schools since 1982, he refused to acknowledge this information instead snarking back to the journalist stating „It’s smart allecks like you that have this country so backwards. It would suit you better down the tin mine and ya might learn a bit of cop-on“. He was later removed from the premises using the local horse drawn paddywagon as following a psychiatric report issued to the Gardaí from Mr Burke’s doctor, driving a modern car would cause ’significant distress and anxiety at being unable to comprehend what an electric van was in the context of 1950s society‘.

The doctor’s note affirmed that „Given Mr Burke’s perception of the world, it is better to affirm his timeline identity as attempting to miss-timeline his identity would only worsen his depression“. Unofficially the doctor admitted in a later interview „Yes, we’re aware of the complete double standard, but the man has the worst case of cognitive dissonance we have ever seen“.