![[OC] Ich habe 15 Jahre Kommentare auf r/relationship_advice analysiert](https://www.bytesde.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/jicewvesfhvf1-1536x1396.jpeg "[OC] Ich habe 15 Jahre Kommentare auf r/relationship_advice analysiert")
Quellen: Pushshift-Dump-Datensatz mit Text aller Beiträge und Kommentare zu r/relationship_advice von der Subreddit-Erstellung bis Ende 2024, insgesamt ~88 GB (5 Millionen Beiträge, 52 Millionen Kommentare)
Tools: Golang-Code zur Datenbereinigung und -analyse, Python-Code und Matplotlib zur Datenvisualisierung
Von GeorgeDaGreat123
24 Kommentare
nice, what emotional event happened during 2016 to the end of 2016…wait nvm
kinda wild how over time reddit went from “talk it out” to “just leave” )))
**Happy to answer anyone’s questions about methodology.**
I spent an insane amount of time and money (millions of AI inference requests) just to determine which categories to use in this graph.
And it took millions more AI inference requests to quality-filter and categorize posts into these categories.
Anyone that takes advice from reddit gets what they deserve.
Focusing on the positives, it’s encouraging to see that setting and respecting boundaries is making its way up.
Definitely disheartening though to see how much the „cut it“ sentiment is prevailing.
However, we don’t know if the OP intensity has increased over time / more trolling.
E.g. maybe 15 years ago OPs were more like: my partner doesn’t like going on hikes, I do, what should we do?
Today maybe it’s more like “ partner installed GPS trackers on my car and personal items, what should I do“?
Some people did an experiment on relationship advice where they made dozens of posts as a woman and then made those same exact posts as a man a few weeks later. Word for word the same exact posts.
Whenever a woman asked for help it was nothing but empathy and grace. Whenever a man asked for help it was “you’re horrible” and “you don’t deserve her.”
The boundary one is interesting because it kind of reflects how that word and the concept of “setting boundaries” became popularized.
People don’t ask advice on good relationships often. This data is about what a sensible person would expect.
Everyone wants the easy way out, human nature
I think part of what creates this affect is people usually are just posting a singular problem with their partner and readers are bad at inferring all the things that must be *good* about the partner for their to be a relationship in the first place.
So subconsciously you are basically primed to think that „relationship is one bad and zero good“ because you aren’t told about anything good. And of course you have no connection to the person being complained about.
data is beautiful, in this case also heartbreaking
This doesn’t take into account that the last few years of posts are increasingly more Ai written and are more akin to novellas than real life. The reason why breakup/divorce increases is because in those melodramas, that is the real solution lol
i think you should break up with relationship_advice
Student here. Is this achieved via topic modeling?
Will it tell you how many times your photo is shared?
I bet it’s a lot. This is impressive and I hope somehow you make a shit ton of money.
Anecdotally this is what I see around me. Obviously that doesn’t mean much but it seems as though people are much more likely to just end things rather than work through issues, no matter how minor. Many don’t even want to communicate in general anymore.
As much as the ghost of anti-intellectualism/truth (which is bigger than trump) is part of this;
I wonder how much is just „my spouse has become maga-tarded“ and how much is just people on average becoming less inclined to show understanding or empathy. I sometimes checked that sub as a guilty-pleasure just to read about some of the insane drama people experience… But much like the graph shows, the comment-section nowdays just makes me fucking depressed.
Like don’t get me wrong, father was an abusive asshole that my mother should’ve never had children with, I know some relationships are fucked: But the amount of people who seem to just be vindictive assholes wanting to ruin every- and any relationship at the slightest disagreement is fucking weird.
It started to remind me of how incels will see boogymen in every shadow, except here it’s „warningsigns“ in every shadow nomatter how benign.
Everyone’s pointing out the rise of End Relationship, but for me, even more concerning than that is the decline of Communicate.
Probably goes hand in hand with the posts and type of questions or advice requested honesty.
Red line is the default response on Reddit when you tell people here that your husband spilled coffee lol
This is so great, those correlates with my feeling of when the Internet no longer represented resilient people and showed more personality driven „black-white“ BPD-like thinking
BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder
I wonder, is the advice really changing, or are the posts?
The larger reddit gets, the more posts we get. And it’s the craziest posts that get the most traction, right?
„My husband sometimes leaves a towel on the floor“ isn’t going to get a lot of upvotes. „My husband gambled away our retirement then blamed me for it“ is going to get more attention.
So the bigger reddit gets, the more ‚wild‘ posts we get, which are going to draw most of the comments.
And on those posts, of course they will lead to more ‚break up‘ comments compared to „you can work it out“ comments.
Honestly, I was thinking 90%, so im impressed reddit.
This is really interesting. I wonder if the uptick in DTMFA is related to engagement? Engagement in 2010 wasn’t nearly as focused on as today, so I wonder if the questions/relationship situations tended to be less juicy. As engagement focused posters and bots have grown, perhaps the frequency of fake questions with crazy/juicy situations has increased to drive engagement? Moving from, „We don’t go out on enough dates since we married, what should I do?“ To, „I walked in on my husband having sex with a bear, what should I do???“