Wenn alleinstehende Männer Pornografie nutzen, aber glauben, dass dies falsch ist, kann dieser Konflikt sexuelle Scham und Einsamkeit verstärken, was wiederum zu Depressionen führen kann. Allerdings scheinen sichere Bindungen zu einem besten Freund die psychologische Belastung dieses moralischen Konflikts zu verringern.

I’ve linked to the news release in the post above. In this comment, for those interested, here’s the link to the peer reviewed journal article:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10720162.2025.2558629

From the linked article:

**Secure friendships may protect single men from shame and depression linked to porn use**

A new study published in the journal Sexual Health & Compulsivity suggests that close friendships may protect single men from depression associated with pornography use that clashes with their moral beliefs. The findings suggest that **when single men use pornography but believe doing so is wrong, this conflict can increase sexual shame and loneliness, which in turn may lead to depression. However, secure attachments with a best friend appear to lessen the psychological toll of this moral conflict**.

Statistical analyses showed that higher levels of moral incongruence were linked to increased sexual shame. In turn, sexual shame was associated with greater loneliness and more severe symptoms of depression. This pattern suggests a possible pathway: men who use pornography but feel it is morally wrong may experience shame about their sexual behavior, which leads to social withdrawal and feelings of isolation, which may then contribute to depressive symptoms.

Crucially, the presence of a close, secure friendship appeared to change this dynamic. Men who felt comfortable and emotionally secure in their closest friendship were less likely to report intense sexual shame, even when they experienced high levels of moral conflict about their pornography use. Secure friendships also appeared to weaken the link between moral incongruence and depression. In contrast, men who reported avoidant or anxious attachment styles in their friendships—meaning they either feared abandonment or avoided emotional closeness—tended to experience stronger effects of moral incongruence on shame and depression.

So if you grow up learning to hate yourself for having sexual desires, your life is worse off.

Another reason why shame and repression associated with religion is so harmful.

The first part seems obvious. The second seems out of nowhere. What does a best friend have to do with anything? Do they mean friends with benefits?

The title confused me.

I first interpreted it as watching porn by yourself can make you feel shame, but watching it with your best friend alleviates that shame…

For some reason some people think this is about being “religious”, even though there are obviously non-religious ethical problems with the use of pornography.

And yet Grindr servers get flooded during GOP conventions and they express no shame at all. Where’s the cognitive dissonance when you need it?

So the more friends I have the better I’ll feel about whackin it? how many friends do I need before I start feeling comfortable doing it in public?