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    1. > “The whole thing’s about defaming me,” Jones said. “You can’t take something over and then act like you’re somebody, even if you say it’s a parody. You could do a parody of somebody, but not if you took something from them. I’ve already checked with lawyers, so they’re in deep s—t. I’m already suing the Democrat Party law firms, already got civil rights lawsuits. Look, just because you’re wearing my shirt don’t mean you’re me, so let’s be 100% clear about that.”

      > During his rant, Jones claimed that “the left” is trying to “silence” him.

      > “This is what the left do,” he said. “They try to silence you, then they misrepresent who you are. They’re body snatchers! They’re skin walkers! They literally take your skin! This is gonna backfire big time, folks.”

    2. ctrl_alt_excrete on

      For most, this would be considered crashing out. For Alex Jones it’s just Tuesday.

    3. Unhappy_Cress_7431 on

      It’s not authentic unless he takes his shirt off like Burt Crysler

    4. Random_Chaos_Theory on

      Somebody please give him a cheeseburger to fit in his burger locker and then a nappypoo 

    5. This is the Onion’s first InfoWars article, right? Right?

      It’s fun seeing Alex Jones lose his tenuous grip on sanity.

    6. HoneyReasonable9316 on

      Dude looks like a mashed potato / ninja turtle hybrid at this point.

    7. Rock-Ski-Golf-Repeat on

      Does Jones seriously want to start a new conversation about „defamation?“

    8. ChainsawRomance on

      Man showing up with his titties out to be intittymidating like we all can’t see he brought muffin tops

    9. KatieBarTheDoor1977 on

      Why isn’t he living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere in rural Wyoming?

    10. Silent-Database5613 on

      Why is he always so goddamn red?

      I assume “democrat” is as many syllables as he can huff out before losing his breath

    11. Regretted_Simian on

      My all time favourite Alex Jones moment is when he said that eating too much chili caused him to forget his kid’s teacher’s name

    12. Initial-Progress-763 on

      I’ve been waiting so long to watch him explode, I feel like suing him for false advertising.

    13. Professional_Let8175 on

      His rants sound like the plot points to a Coleman Francis film.

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